One mom, waiting for her oldest to be out of school, said her youngest had a contagious disease. He wasn’t so sick that he couldn’t get out of bed, he didn’t look too ill, but he had the symptoms. She didn’t think he needed to stay home the next day, because “They don’t let you keep your kid at home, when they have this disease.” That’s when my blood started boiling.
(Rant-mode on: When your child has a contagious disease, keep him home. Even if he’s not severely sick. Otherwise he might infect other children that COULD get VERY ill from the same disease! And who the h3ll is “They”???? Rant-mode off.)
Who “They” are and what do you mean by all this?
So what does that sentence actually mean? “They don’t let you…”. It means “it’s inconvenient for me/I don’t care enough to do the sensible thing, so I’ll just give the responsibility to whatever higher power (God, the government, school, my boss, my spouse) to make it look acceptable”. I see this behaviour in every aspect of life.
– “My boss doesn’t promote me.”
– “The bank charges a high interest.”
– “My husband won’t eat veggies so I can’t cook like that”
Beware The Victim
Now don’t get me wrong, I used to be the Queen of the victim mentality. And I used to be very good at it too. I was the victim of history (my whole cultural heritage can be summed up like “we used to be the greatest, but look what they’ve done to us!”). I was a victim of “but if you do this, you won’t fit in”. I was also the sweet, naive girl, who couldn’t possibly go against common sense.
Gather some courage
It takes a whole lot of courage to face that we don’t take responsibility for our own actions, for our own lives. It takes even more to start changing our thoughts and beliefs. And it takes getting comfortable with the discomfort to change.
Make your choice
If we shove the responsibility on institutes and higher powers, we give away our own power to make change and build a life we truly love. What would you rather have? Someone else telling you what to do, where to live, what to eat, or making your own choices? It’s on you.